kisah shift

hm. lebih kurang setahun kerja normal, kena masuk shift balik. itu lah dugaan orang kerja dengan port ni. kita ni ingat baru ingat nak cari kerja tapi kalau dah kerja shift, memang tak lah, huru-haru nanti. cukup lah last time punya ribut taufan. sebenarnya this is one of the factors resign dulu. pasal husby kerja shift ni lah. 

now, dia dah nak masuk shift balik, we are inhaling the last days slowly. officially masuk bulan May nanti, masuk lah dia shift. i don't know how i'll manage. sekarang dah ada routine. semua kira teratur lah. not only me, zahraa pun kena adapt daddy kejap ada kejap tak ada pagi/malam and why daddy akan tidur at odd hours. benda jadi sure bersebab. maybe we'll manage better with the baby if dia kerja shift.

last time during the first pantang we worked it out, okay je kut. honestly, i kind of like it. husby ada time pagi most days to mandi and basuh baju. he was home most of the day. the night was okay for me, cuma ada some days baby meragam, itu dengan mummy sekali nangis. kalau tak, tidur je, asal dapat susu. the cooking was done by the awesome bibik last time - sup ikan merah and lobak putih was the best of all. insya Allah nanti, husby punya job scope tambah satu lagi, masak! harapnya sedap, kalau tak, kena mintak tolong bibik again and husby kena collect dari rumah uncle lah.

current mood: cari recipe pantang sedap and tolerable

that time

there is always a time when you struggle between this and that. tonight i struggled between sleep time and some me time (struggle lah sangat kan). haha. me time won hence, the post. 

this week would be my last week of 2nd trimester. time flies. macam baru semalam je buat urine test. check ups has been hectic since ada 1 car je at the moment. pagi-pagi kena pergi port klang and back to clinic. lepas tu petang-petang back again to port klang. its a different thing altogether compare to the first pregnancy. 1st pregnancy was ALL about pampering. this time around, kena banyak independent. check up pula at 2 places (PPUM and KKIA) and appointments tak dapat nak clash. kat PPUM ada 2 section - normal check up and cardio check up, itu pun tak dapat nak clash. next month, 2 hari berturut-turut kena pergi PPUM. nasib lah kali ni. mujur Zahraa dengar kata bila alone with me. kalau dah pergi berdua, masuk toilet pun angkut sekali lah. the best part is, tiap kali kena cepat-cepat siap, Zahraa punya tangan dah standby dah dekat lock. pengsan oi! they should put the lock higher. huuu. its a race between me and my child. dia suka lah. macam kita main dengan dia. kita ni kena sangat efficient. haha. anyway, semua okay, alhamdulillah and so far dapat maintain weight. tak lebih dari 10kg but i still have like 12 more weeks to go! haha.

turning 3 next month *mommycries*

potty training

bila baca article and stuff, orang dah start potty training bila nak nak masuk 2 years old and so on. zahraa is turning 3 in May and we still tak potty train her seriously. i often tell her to let me know if she wants to shishi or poopoo. so far, she tells us when dia dah buat business dah in her diapers. hehe. then one day lepas mandi, i let her run around naked. i always do that to let her butt have a break and some air. i was searching for her clothes when she shouted 'mommy, nak shishi'. i immediately thought dah shishi dah but, i still tell her, 'nak shishi masuk toilet please'. apparently dia belum shishi and that was her first time consciously shishi dalam toilet sendiri. yehoo! i was excited and proud of her. her second time and third was on her own too. second time, she undone everything herself and climbed on the toilet. her third time was when she was having her bath and she felt like it, so she climbed up onto the toilet. then , her fourth time was yesterday morning when i reminded her before going downstairs. hopefully this continues and we will be able to go diapers free by June! siap buat quiz from Huggies Pull-ups Training Pants okay to find out potty training personality.

i guess this is a way of her telling us that she is ready. every child ada kemajuan ikut diri sendiri. kalau paksa sangat pun tak guna gak. tak menjadi and dia jadi frustrated. i let her be and she surprised me. like how she can recognised some alphabets and numbers. masa belajar sama-sama macam tak tau je. bila sendiri, rupanya dia tahu. hee.

both of us kena keep up with this potty training thingy.  good luck to us!

p.s: the new baby hajat nak pakai reusable diapers once everything settled down nanti, which might take 3 months insyaAllah. hee! takut plus can't wait. 

sunyi Sunday

weekend ni duduk rumah je tak buat apa. masak pun tak berapa nak masak. semalam punya leftovers ada lagi so, malam ni buat apa yang mampu je lah dari leftovers tu. 

sebenarnya tak suka sangat bila sunyi macam ni. the brain tends to think too much. i prefer having things to do, keep myself busy walaupun kadang-kadang tu stress juga pasal penat. today i miss mum. i always miss her but some days more. i miss having someone to talk to. yes, i have my family etc. but mum is just different. i might kena ketuk dengan dia bila mengadu pelik-pelik tapi that is what i need some times. nobody knows us best like our mum. i had her, only her. mana ada adik-beradik ke nak sisters day out ke, siblings day out ke bagai. i always rely on her.

Allah tak bagi kita dugaan yang kita tak boleh tanggung. to return to Him. He is all i have now. asyik-asyik nangis. tak elok bila asyik terkenang je but i imagined how life would be if mum is still around. things would be different, both good and bad. 

for now, lets be the mum that my children will always remember. they can look back and see once i am gone how much i loved them, put them above everything and was there every time they needed me. be the mother that my mother was.

al-Fatihah to mummy, Faiziah Ishak

p.s: damn you, hormones!

peristiwa

ternampak peristiwa yang tak best hari ni. ada family ni tengah makan - husband, wife and anak. tak pasti apa arguement yang terjadi. husband dia marah. husband dia bangun and panggil wife dia 'f****r' lepas tu macam nak walk away tapi patah balik and cakap 'u ni memang celaka, celaka, celaka'. tah berapa kali ulang tah sambil tuding jari kat muka wife dia. anak diorang tengah-tengah. kira husband dia tuding jari kat muka wife dia depan muka anak dia. terkejut. anak dia tengok wife dia nangis, nangis lah gak. anak mana boleh tengok mak nangis, sensitive kan. huhu. wife dia pregnant pulak tu. Allah. 

lepas tu, husband dia pun walk away. wife ni mengalir je air mata, sambil suap anak makan, sambil anak lap air mata mak dia. macam drama pun ada dah. sayup-sayup macam dengar anak tu cakap 'abah marah mama, huh' then anak dia cakap 'mama, no cry, shhh' gitu. innocent nya jiwa seorang budak. sedih situasi tu. semoga wanita itu tabah in her life. i am not sure i would be strong enough if i was her. ada nangis 3 hari, 3 malam tak berhenti. tak pun, tiba-tiba hati jadi keras and terus tak rasa apa-apa. entah. 

personally, i think parents should never swear in front of their kids. EVER. ini lagi lah, calling the mother of your child macam tu depan your child. it shows what kind of a person you are. yes, you may be angry or furious at that point of time, try to istighfar or just walk away if you know you are about to swear, lawan lah nafsu tu sikit. i lose my temper too sometimes, everybody does. there is a limit to everything. respect your child. you may not respect your wife or maybe you are having issues with her or maybe you are in the midst of separating/divorcing, who knows, but show your child what kind of man he should be or show what kind of man she should find when he/she grows up. just my point of view.