2014

1: What did you do in 2014 that you’d never done before?

    Quit my job 

2: Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

    Yes, even though it was just around Malaysia
    Next year, i still want to travel more and to eat healthy

3: Did anyone close to you give birth?

    Yup, 2 of them! ♥

4: Did anyone close to you die?

    Alhamdulillah, nobody close died this year

5: What countries did you visit?

    My own

6: What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014?

    More traveling sessions outside Malaysia and to kick start the business, for real

7: What dates from 2014 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

    18th June (My last official working day)

8: What was your biggest achievement of the year?

    To raise my child by myself, being a stay at home mum

9: What was your biggest failure?

    Kick starting the business

10: Did you suffer illness or injury?

      Nope, all is well, alhamdulillah

11: What was the best thing you bought?

      Zahraa's non spill water bottle, happy mum!

12: What did you get really, really, really excited about?

      Quitting my job (even though i can't show it, people judge)

13: Compared to this time last year, are you: 

      (a) happier or sadder? - happier (less fighting)

      (b) thinner or fatter?  - fatter (gained a bit of weight)

      (c) richer or poorer? - richer (i have my little family and to be expanded, in sya Allah)

14: What do you wish you’d done more of?

      Baking

15: What do you wish you’d done less of?

      Nagging

16: Did you fall in love in 2014?

      Yes!

17: What was your favourite TV program?

      Revenge (still is)

18: Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

      Hate is a strong word, dislike maybe, yes

      

19: What was your greatest musical discovery?

      I play the xylophone, haha

20: What did you want and get?

      Quit my job and take care of Zahraa on my own

21: What did you want and not get?

      To live on our own (one day, i hope)

22: What was your favourite film of this year?

      Not too sure what movie came out his year, huu!

23: What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

      Zahraa is gaining weight and healthy as a horse 

24: How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014?

      Grab and go

25: What kept you sane?

      Allah

26: Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

      Emily VanCamp

27: What political issue stirred you the most?

      -

28: Who did you miss?

      Mummy, I'll miss her more and more each year

29: Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014.

      Never give up, try harder every time you fail

30: Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

      Shake it off!

makin lama

haih. makin lama makin jarang pula update blog. huhu. ideas, ideas. sebenarnya banyak benda boleh update. tak menyempat. penat kut. haha. mau tak penat, hari-hari bagaikan marathon. okay, itu terlebih. maybe a llittle, bukan senang nak kejar anak sana sini dalam rumah yang tak babyproof ni. nak buat macam mana, bukan duduk laki bini je. anyhow, now baru nak start pembelajaran since dah masuk 18 months ni. before ni biar dia experiment stuff sendiri. haru. padan muka, nak jaga sendiri kan. ini betul-betul lifetime experience. in sya Allah yang second nanti boleh lah tahu apa nak expect sikit-sikit and how to deal with it. 

sebenarnyakan, alhamdulillah dapat peluang nak jaga anak sendiri. bukan semua orang dapat peluang ini. cuma, dugaan dia ada and its the opposite dari cabaran masa kerja. dalam satu hari tu, banyak kali gak beristhigfar. haha. bila anak pandai dah mengamuk, macam tu lah. contoh pagi tadi pukul 3 pagi, bangun nak susu (biasa budak besar ni dah sleep through the night tapi layankan je lah), sekali lepas susu tak nak tidur. mak ai. ada sampai pukul 5 lebih. kalau tak tidur main sendiri takpe. ni nangis. mummy nye baru tidur pukul 1 pagi. huu. tak ke isthigfar banyak-banyak. kalau still kerja, mau mummy nye mengamuk pergi kerja pulak. hahaha. 

takde gambar post ni. tak sempat nak transfer masuk laptop. next post mungkin.

yesterday

words are up on the other blog. saje nak update dekat sana, my happy blog. hee. 

raya #kelantan2014

post lepas tajuk puasa mula, tiba-tiba dah raya. sekejap betul masa berlalu. haha. anyway, masa balik kelantan hari tu sempat pergi white studio untuk family photo. nasib parents in law jenis young at heart. rajin lah layan anak-anak punya kehendak. hee!

 Ami, Abah and the cucu(s)

KAMI

puasa tiba

bila berpuasa mula lah nak makan macam-macam. yang boleh masak/buat tu, apa lagi, mula lah buat. jangan ingat dah duduk rumah ni senang or banyak masa nak buat benda, kena curi masa. bila Zahraa bangun, susah nak jalan kerja. kena kejar dia sana sini. rumah ni tak berapa nak babyproof so, kena extra sikit kerja menjaga tu. anyway, the best buka puasa (so far) is the combination of percik, begedil, sawi and roti sira. super yumm! then, ada lah buat some other things hari-hari lain.

 roti sira

 no bake strawberry and oreo cheesecake

mushroom shaped chocolate-hazelnut chocolate chip cookies

untuk Zahraa pulak, last week tak try banyak benda baru pun. buat mana sempat je untuk makan, pasal jaga sendiri. husby shift malam so, balik tido lah.

 jemput-jemput ikan bilis

(improvised recipe)

 grill chicken + purple sweet potato mash

 chicken bites + omelet + potatoes

..

 anak perempuan kena rajinkan masuk dapur, hehehe

atas bukit: cameron highlands (2013)

tahun ni birthday husby (awal June) pergi family trip to Cameron Highlands. macam tiap-tiap tahun pulak rasa pergi Cameron Highlands ni, huu. kali ni family trip dengan my in laws. kami sewa apartment 4 bilik, senang - dah yang pergi tu ramai kan, 8 adults. haih, bestnya orang ada adik beradik (ni nak beranak pinak ni, eh?). the place we stayed was not bad, bersih. location dia sebelah smokehouse, nama dia iris. pergi Cameron ni ingat pulak pergi honeymoon dulu. haha. 

it was nice to take a break from life (masa tu kerja lagi). the family is just awesome, i am part of them and bukan rasa macam outcast (yang penting, adik-adik ipar semangat tolong dukung anak yang makin berat ni, hee!).

 hubsy and twin/ablong and kaklong

my own little panda

usaha untuk makan

okay, semenjak duduk rumah ni rajin lah nak cari recipe baru untuk anak. tak mampu nak buat semua tapi dalam seminggu tu ada lah try something yang lain sikit. Alhamdulillah dah start makan lebih dari biasa. Zahraa makan kena ikut cara dia and walaupun ada gigi, dia tetap suka makanan lenyek. So, kalau nasi and lauk, gaul-gaul, lepas tu lenyek. 

Burd (thank you untuk post you - ikut rentak dia tak jadi, kena letak dalam kerusi dia baru makan), yang paling penting, timing. sekarang ni timing dah terurus kalau nak compare masa bergilir jaga dulu. oh. lepas tu, having a meal plan membantu sangat setakat ni. meal plan akan share akhir bulan nanti, bulan ni first time trying it out. 

food from last week

 poached cod

** mana pernah terfikir akan buat dulu

 jemput-jemput ikan bilis

 pumpkin fries

 broccoli pasta

 rice+homemade chicken nugget+omelet+bakchoy
 - tu makanan kena lenyek -

(baki masuk perut mummy, haha!)

rice+grilled salmon+potatoes

1 and 2

1 : Pantai Hillpark

rumah uncle Halim

masa ni tengah berpantang, pantang yang strict okay (thank you aunty Emma - kalau tak, tak kurus macam sekarang). takda lah nak bergambar sakan, tak terurus new mummy masa ni. just got him a simple gift sebelum terberanak, hee! thank you staying with me through out my pantang there, masa masuk hospital end of pantang and thank you teramat sangat bertahan untuk semua dugaan time pantang ni.

..

2 : Le Meridien
KL Sentral

a big fat thank you to the hotel for preparing the little extra things for us, the food was good, the hospitality was great - especially to the one in charge near/for our table (Mark) and front of the house. siapa nak celebrate anything just make a booking and let them know. best! the hotel prepared 2 surprises. the 1st surprise - the balloons, the baby seat and baby's set. i love the balloons and the little gestures for the little one. the baby seat comes with a belt too which is a big yes from mummy and daddy, boleh makan peacefully. haha. the 2nd surprise - the special dessert. okay, serious sedap sangat. dah kenyang amat pun boleh makan sampai licin. tak tau apa, white chocolate 'something' mungkin. terharu pun ada, time dapat dessert and time makan dessert. thank you husby for the delicious and wonderful dinner.

1st surprise

 this is my first time trying. euw?

 budak vegetarian - suka sangat vege and fruits, healthy living,
kalah parents dia yang tak berapa nak healthy living ni

2nd surprise

Daddy's girl

27 tahun

hari tu... tepat pukul 5.31 pm, umur meningkat setahun. ada apa dengan nombor kan? tahun ni lain pula celebration-nya, pasal tahun ni ada Zahraa. tak buat celebration apa pun sebenarnya, pergi lunch dengan my awesome, eh, little family. dapat juga lah tiup lilin tahun ni. last tiup lilin 3 tahun lepas. orang yang sama juga surprise kan. hee. 

Alhamdulillah

[gambar tiup lilin nak amik dr phone dia]

[Update]

anak tekun tengok lilin

damn!

haih. kita buat decision tu salah, kita buat decision ni salah. susah betul. ada tanya bila nak cari kerja baru lah, dah belajar tinggi-tinggi rugi je lah. ada kata kesian anak nak hantar babysitter lah, takutnya nak hantar babysitter dengan case macam ni. then ada pulak yang kata budak nampak kurus and tanya tak kasi makan ke, tak masak untuk anak ke? huwaaa. kita hidup dalam masyarakat kan. persepsi orang berbeza-beza. nak buat macam mana lagi. dengar, telan and try tolak tepi, ikut kata otak and hati sendiri. tsk tsk.

[nak buat macam mana?]

counting days - 50 days

lepas tulis post pasal dah resign ada yang terkejut baca. memang tak sangka. i am someone yang materialistic and amat pentingkan duit (pengakuan jujur ni, haha!). in my family, tak pernah lagi ada yang quit their job macam tu je selagi income tak triple stable. i am taking the first step. i am setting my priorities straight. so, my last official day is 18th June. HR dah keluarkan official letter. ingat hari tu 20th June. if not, i have that 20th again. sekali dia tak genapkan 3 bulan, dia kira 90 hari pula. cis! oh. i have 10 days of leave to finish up by then. entah bila nak cuti tak tau.  

ragam anak 11 bulan

#WorldsToughestJob

broke down and cried, i miss my mum

that 20th

okay, this has been pending for years noe (yelah, sejak belum kahwin, belum kenal suami sampai kawin and ada anak, that is how long it has been pending). mula-mula tujuan nak berhenti lain, sekarang lain. i finally made my decision that i never thought i would make before i am 30 years old. memang tawakal habis dah ni. i finally quit my full time job last month, tendered on the 20th of March.

it is never easy to quit a job. banyak tanggungjawab yang nak kena fikir. lagi-lagi yang guna credit card ni. berhenti bukan sebab suka-suka tetapi nak jaga tanggungjawab yang paling besar dalam hidup. some might say, 'boleh ke dia hidup?' and some might say, 'best nya, that is my dream job'. i am not too sure what to think of it. berbelah bahagi sebenarnya. takut ada, tak sabar ada. 

decision was made pasal tak sanggup nak hantar anak mana-mana, boleh depress kut. then ada sekali tinggal Zahraa, dia nangis tak berhenti sampai muntah. itu tinggal dengan family and bukan stranger. my heart just shattered, really. so, that makes my decision firmer. thus, the best decision i have ever made this year, so far.

yes, suami tak berapa nak supportive. yes, family tak berapa nak supportive. diri sendiri kena yakin. pengorbanan ini berbaloi. yes, tak dapat online shopping suka hati. yes, tak dapat makan apa nak suka hati. yes, tak dapat beli kasut yang berkenan macam tu je. yang penting kena cekal, deal with semua orang and be strong. tak cuba tak tau. kita kena positive and yakin Allah sentiasa ada.

an article about mums who quit their job - Quitting Job for Kids; Will I Turn a Nobody?

life with Dr Seuss

pop out

oh! i had a long weekend last week, full of work. we had our last workshop for the project. the project is finally closing out. after 7 long years. though the conclusion is yet to be achieved, we have high hopes. we know that changing behaviour is not a walk in the park. it takes a lot of time, effort, awareness and very positive hope (from the people who is trying to make the other change). what got me through the weekend is that the family came along. yeay! so, the long tiring weekend was not that bad. 

so, came back, put my little peanut to bed and decided to go online. then, something pop out of my maccy. nothing scary but something close to my heart. it was an alert for mum's birthday. yes, of course i remember her birthday but when it popped out, i just stared at the screen. it was a silent moment for me. i still 'talk' to her. i miss mum, everyday. she would have been 64 years old this year. Al-Fatihah to my dearest mum.

new year (post tergendala)

this year new year sangat lain. normally semangat nak tengok bunga api berdentam dentum bagai. tahun ni new year atas katil je. haha. pengsan kut. penat sangat. oh. bila bunga api, cepat-cepat tepuk anak takut anak bangun. totally different scene. how i appreciate sleep now is on a whole new different level. lagi satu, this year, celebrate dekat tempat lain. yeah! pergi dekat je, pergi Port Dickson. asal kan berjalan cukup lah, spending time with my little family (bila lah nak expand ni, em!). my baby did a lot of new things during this trip. she was such a happy girl. heyyaaahh!

7 months old