bye 1st trimester

Alhamdulillah. there are many challenges throughout but we made it through. its totally different from the first one. complete opposite. i always thought the first was the hardest but now i change my mind. the more kids you have, the more tired you'll be during pregnancy. haha. you can't think of your own self, you have a kid to look after (the whole day!).

week 5

happy week, pasal biasanya kan morning sickness mula this week. i felt nothing. yes, nothing! good start. even though tiba-tiba muka naik pimples, its okay as long as i can eat. asyik lapar je memanjang. risau juga at first kenapa tak ada morning sickness tapi some people kadang-kadang terlepas kut.

week 6

no morning sickness tapi sickness lain pula. tak boleh bau orang masak, including myself. bau tumis-tumis ni buat rasa loya and then terus hilang selera nak makan. no cooking for me starting from this week. husby balik kerja and masak. thank you!

week 7

Zahraa sakit gigi. memang tak tidur lah malam. she was having high fever (38 - 40ºC) Monday to Thursday. so tiring, maka minggu ni macam sloth sikit. gigi baru tumbuh, not sure what it is called but gigi yang besar sikit tu, belah belakang. tumbuh 2, both on bottom gum. ingat tumbuh 4 sekali as gum atas pun merah tp 2 je yang naik. pengsan lah nak tunggu yang atas pula. soft diet for her the whole week. 

week 8

lepas anak tumbuh gigi, turn mak dia pula. dah tua ni pun tumbuh gigi. the very last one. sakit! bermula lah drama kat rumah ni. i can't sleep. so, i was cranky and sikit-sikit nangis. tahan lah juga.  one night i chocked on my own saliva. pergi Dr dapat antibiotics, panadol and ubat tido (to help me sleep). he can only give panadol as my painkiller. itu je yang mampu bagi.

week 9

bad news this week. uncle Halim fell in his office in Penang, kena stroke and had to go through some procedure to remove the blood clot in his brain. he was really weak. reminds me of mum when she was in hospital. my heart just sank when i heard the news. i would go straight away if i can. unfortunately, i myself was admitted due to gum infection, lepas nak dua papan panadol habis. huu. sad week. kena tabah.

week 10

went to visit uncle Halim in Penang. he was recovering well. aunty said he was so much better than last week. Alhamdulillah. i still cried a little when i saw him. he was just okay few weeks back. kita tak tahu kan what tomorrow brings. since dah sampai Penang, makan je lah kerjanya. dapat makan roti canai transfer road, naan and tandoori, pasembor, fried oyster, nasi kandar and cendol. tu je sempat, huhu. teringin gak nak makan kuehteow tapi kenyang sangat, mujur dekat uptown sini ada yang sedap.

week 11

balik Kelantan and continue makan, makan and makan. dapat makan nasi kerabu, nasi kukus, nasi serati and apam balik. lepas tu, beli serunding. serunding ni memang makanan wajib ada. entah, boleh kata ketagih kut. makan dengan roti biasanya. dulu makan dengan meggi. so, since dah kena puasa meggi, roti lah. kadang-kadang pula nasi, serunding and telur kicap. sedap! okay, lapar dah. hm!

week 12

most waited week. orang kata ni lah minggu selamat. in sya Allah. so far so good. this week, even though most waited, towards the end ni kena food poisoning. mula-mula Zahraa then me. seksa. tak dapat ubat untuk sakit perut. Dr just bagi ubat muntah and ORS. kena tahan sikit. sakit perut and sakit belakang. rasa macam contraction okay. takut! hee. Dr kata sakit belakang tu pasal badan dah tak cukup air and everything is fine. balik terus minum ORS and air. memang kalah kalau sakit belakang. oh! and uncle Halim finally get to go back to the comfort of his own home. Alhamdulillah.

week 13
rupanya 1st trimester ends at week 13. i always thought week 12 dah habis dah. siap dah post and retract balik post ni. haha. week 13, life goes on. dah start masak macam biasa semua. cuma malam je macam orang kerja buruh. penat! tummy still tak nampak lagi. maybe macam zahraa kut. dah nak masuk 6 months baru nampak. we will see. oh. did our scan on Friday week 13, pumpkin was moving, drinking water and crossing his/her legs. orang yang scan siap tolak-tolak lagi untuk measure panjang dia. hee.

officially beginning 2nd trimester this week, hope and pray for a smooth journey.

p.s: my high school best friend is having her contractions now. may Allah ease her delivery.

breastfeeding, little peanut

the end came last Thursday. little peanut was her nickname when she was in me. maybe sebab tu kurus macam peanut with curve at the pinggang. haha. sedih but at the same time, lega. i am too tired and it hurts. 

it was never easy from the beginning. i had trouble latching early on which led to blisters. i was really uncomfortable with the surrounding. i even ended up in the hospital because of infection. i really wanted to try but i didn't have enough knowledge (which i shall bulk up for my next one) and the support i needed (which to stay positive and know the only support is myself and fight for what i feel right). i ended up being a full time pumping mom since she was 2 months old. so, i have been pumping for 2 years and 7 months. it was a rough, painful and emotional journey but every second of it was worth it. good job to me. yeay! siapa lagi nak puji kan. hehe.

bila tengok anak orang lain minum direct, pedih juga hati. bukan dengki tapi rasa kekurangan. bila pula anak dengki sepupu dia, saja minum kat mak orang tu, memang hancur lah hati. bukan minum banyak pun, tp minumlah juga. depan orang kita kena lah control. orang kadang-kadang tak tau apa kita rasa. yes, i can smile at that moment but i cried afterwards. every single time. orang tak faham the pain and siap bagitau semua orang lagi that my own daughter wanted her and tak nak pun dekat me. as mothers, there's that unspoken language that we should understand. i just wish she knew how much it effected me. benda dah lepas, it still hurts when i think of it (like right now) but, tak boleh tukar. biar je lah. maybe i should be honest next time. entah. 

anyway, towards the end, ada selang-selang hari pump even sikit je dapat, dapam 1oz je. sometimes dia mintak, 'mummy, pump'. tak sampai hati, tu yang pump juga sampai dah tak dapat pun 1 oz, maybe 1/2oz je. last pump dapat 2ml je mungkin. itu lah last for her. dia minum even susu dah rasa pelik sikit. rezeki dia panjang, alhamdulillah sangat. thank you Allah for the journey.