dinner

had a wonderful time tonight. good food, great company. special thanks to H, P, J and A. love u guys to bits. you guys just made my day a better day.

pinky promise

1. trust

trust is always an issue in any of my relationships (past and present). i have trouble trusting someone. no matter how good a person is, trust is not in my vocab. i have this nasty habit to have to know everything. which is effecting my relationships. so, i finally came to a point that i have to trust the people i love to make any kind of relationship work. things are getting better now. i am doing better at work and having a better time with him, H. it is actually really simple. the concept of trust. it is like, u believe in God but you can't see Him. trust is the same thing. you can't see it but you can feel it in your heart. it is not a simple and easy thing to do. but, i'm trying and and things are better. it is the foundation of a good relationship. at least, to me.

2. honesty

some say that 100% honesty is the best thing for a perfect relationship. i believe in 100% honesty. however, i learned from experience. there is no such thing as 100% honesty. sometimes, it is best that certain things are better left unknown. this is as long as it does not involve cheating or something really really bad. i can live with H telling me that his ex called to say hi or maybe sent H a text message. but, cheating is not an option. we do things that we know will protect the feelings of our loved ones. thus, honesty is good but to some extend. the tricky part is, it must not involve any lies.

3. respect

respect is equally important as trust and honesty. by respecting someone, you learn to trust someone and when you trust someone, you will be honest to them. basically, everything starts with respecting each other as human beings. respect the feelings you have towards each other. respect is something that have to be earned. it is not something you earn overnight. it is an ongoing process in life. someone may respect you today but maybe not tomorrow. respect does make people love each other more. it is about compromising, listening and being there. respect is also about not doing what the person you love hate. it is a mutual understanding. 

..

H, i love you.

200811

(pinky promise) trust, honesty, respect

starting fresh

This is the 3rd attempt. This time around, will make it private and not private. Private means no names or faces. Not private means this is my space to trash out what I feel. I need this as I struggle to be the perfect kid everyone loves.