sunyi Sunday

weekend ni duduk rumah je tak buat apa. masak pun tak berapa nak masak. semalam punya leftovers ada lagi so, malam ni buat apa yang mampu je lah dari leftovers tu. 

sebenarnya tak suka sangat bila sunyi macam ni. the brain tends to think too much. i prefer having things to do, keep myself busy walaupun kadang-kadang tu stress juga pasal penat. today i miss mum. i always miss her but some days more. i miss having someone to talk to. yes, i have my family etc. but mum is just different. i might kena ketuk dengan dia bila mengadu pelik-pelik tapi that is what i need some times. nobody knows us best like our mum. i had her, only her. mana ada adik-beradik ke nak sisters day out ke, siblings day out ke bagai. i always rely on her.

Allah tak bagi kita dugaan yang kita tak boleh tanggung. to return to Him. He is all i have now. asyik-asyik nangis. tak elok bila asyik terkenang je but i imagined how life would be if mum is still around. things would be different, both good and bad. 

for now, lets be the mum that my children will always remember. they can look back and see once i am gone how much i loved them, put them above everything and was there every time they needed me. be the mother that my mother was.

al-Fatihah to mummy, Faiziah Ishak

p.s: damn you, hormones!